My job today is to bludge and go un-noticed for the rest of the day. This is what I’ve been training my whole life for.

I was starting to think my cat was a real whore slut when it’s comes to getting attention and pats but then I realised my cat is a dude so he’s just a mega chad instead.

Turns out this Sam Hyde fella, pretty funny dude.

Guys I’ve been watching the news and turns out I think I’ve been radicalised. I’m gonna turn myself in to the FBI now brb.

Take profits take coffin. Get in a coffin and nail yourself in. Fucking retard.

No matter how much I slutshame these anime girls just keep walking around with their tits and pussies hangin out.

Okay, I’m ready to admit that smoking 60 bongs a day while I have covid might not have been the greatest idea I’ve ever had.

Most of sex is thinking about doing something cool, not doing it, cumming, then feeling sad.

My dad and I are so straight we fucking hate the environment. All we talk about is eating pussy and fracking.

I’ve had bong coughs worse than this covid.

I officially dub the anti ethan ralph fans:
The Children of the Corn 🌽

I should be allowed to say ‘fag’ because after this crypto crash I too know what it’s like to be fucked in the ass.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to go to work after a full night of sleep.

The scientific name for a female midget is a fidget.

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