Sincere Irony, LLC @[email protected]

Unironically using the phrase "call out" is exclusively for women, much like "ugh" #InternationalWomensDay

To my lazy horse: Make like a sweet riff and gallop

If the film's director is male and French I just assume it's a coming of age story for a 15 year old girl who loses her virginity.

Your memory is an unreliable narrator

I need a road soda but for every other event in addition to driving

Emotional cheating is:

Make more money and increase your spending by a larger percentage than your income increase

My barber just called me "sweetie" is this sexual harassment or assault? Or just regular harassment?

An idea that's marinated in my cranial fluid for a long time is "you are miserable because you are free." I think I'm going to embrace this idea and either defect to China or campaign for a reinstitution of absolute monarchy.

If you don't know me, don't compliment me. I much prefer an insult from a stranger than a false compliment out of a misplaced sense of politeness or social etiquette.

The doctor after that person you don't like was born: "Hey they can't all be zingers"

You are now manually existing

Can you become addicted to cigs ironically? Im not asking for me, but it's not for a friend either. It's for an enemy, which is me.

Keep pushing me and I'll return to caveman I swear for real you better stop instigating. But for real. #InnaWoods #ForgetMonke #CaveLyfe