Pinned toot

Hobgoblins? More like Slobonmyknobgoblins.

If the gov had just done the right thing in 2009 we wouldn’t be dealing with 99% of the bullshit we encounter everyday.

Why would anyone feel like they have a stake in this country when they have no roots?

If they owned a home would they have had enough free time to melt their brains with social media?

The curse of the boomer will be a lead albatross around our collective necks for many future generations.

Looking forward to meeting all you nice fellas at the bottom of a mass grave!

“Alright doc give it to me straight, is the diagnosis based or cringe?”

“Well you have stage 4 brain cancer and about 3 weeks to live”

“Based 😎”

Okay I understand the looting and violence but WHY ARENT THEY WEARING THEIR MASKS THERE IS A PANDEMIC HAPPENING!!!!!!????!!!!

If global warming is real then why the fuck are people still buying non-investment properties?

Shouldn’t they be renting the cheapest shithole they can find and travel the world because it’s all going to hell within their lifetimes?

Sure seems like a microcephalic idea to pay thousands a month for a mortgage when the house will inevitably end up in a new ocean within 5 days/10 years max.

In search of a big tittied goth bitch who needs a real Whinnie the Pooh type nigga in her life.

What if the song “Jolene” by Dolly Parton was really about a husband falling for an S-Tier trap who used to be named Joe before they transitioned.

Dreamworks Presents: How to Train Your Bitch to Keep Her Goddamn Mouth Shut

Trying to fuck the craziest pussy imaginable: A broad that wants to go to an adult summer camp.

Why not just give Mars to black people? I don’t know if I can think of a better reparations package than that. Their own planet free of white people? Where is the downside here?

The white woman screams in pain as she files the false rape report.

I keep my stable of concubines in pods filled with lotion.

If I hear one flake of their skin scrape across my silk sheets they go back in the tube for another 3 weeks until they meet my standards.

No joke there are dudes farming likes on every Joe Rogan clip on YouTube by just complaining that he inked a deal with Spotify. Smallest dick shit I’ve ever witnessed.

The key to losing weight is imprisoning yourself in your mind, while also being the warden so you don’t get crazy and start raping dudes when they’re late on paying their cigarette debts.

Literally just as boomstick prices were coming down this has to happen. Coincidence? The world may (never) know!

The upside of trans women competing in sports is that women’s sports will die and it will be all men’s sports all the time.

The world isn’t all bad.

Just knowing that there is a guy who exclusively cranks it to the queen latifa mammoth from Ice Age is so god damn funny to me.

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