NEVER trust anyone who constantly wears hats.

Today is national Mac n cheese day!…. So who wants to have sex with me?

Okay yes, it is true.. I am the one who knocked up Jamie Lynn Spears and ruined zoey 101.

I’ve been so stressed that even my pubic hair is starting to fall out

You think I need that COVID shot?! I ate raw chicken in a Korean joint, my immune system strong as fuckkkkkk

Does anybody else sometimes fart so hard that it gives them a migraine?

Yes yes I saw the South Park movie, who wants to touch me?........... I SAID WHO WANTS TO FUCKING TOUCH ME?!

My dingleberries have smelled pretty different here recently and I don’t really know why, I haven’t changed my diet or anything?

Tomorrow night I am going to watch a Nigerian obliterate an Italian and I’m going to do it with a smile on my face RACEWARS 😁

Always always always shit right before anal sex so that way you can save money on lube and your asshole is already loose and ready to go

It is TERRIFYING to know that Jewish black women exist. Like not only do they rob you for your money but they also outsmart you for your money as well and their women so... ew

Gotta say now that I’m out of school and have been for almost 6 years and no longer receive a vacation day... fuck Columbus Day

Nothing like a late night microwaved hot dog 😋

Anybody else agree that the real reason Charlie turned down the chocolate factory at first wasn’t for his family but was because he wasn’t a sick fuck like Willy who enjoyed watching children die while his Oompa Loompas sang and danced?

Hey you, yeah YOU right there reading this... wanna fuck? You bring the lube and I’ll bring the gerbils

Just jerked off to my first anime... am I FINALLY cool? My dad said no

Ever think about how a zebra is a black just trying to blend in with whites?

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